"You're Very Special to Me" - The Power of Expressing Love and Appreciation to Our Children Daily

Date: Jun 04, 2023

"You're very special to me."

I practice saying this phrase to both kids daily.

My goal is to do it at least twice a day. When they leave for school and before they go to bed.

They even say it back now, which is adorable.

I learned it from a friend. While staying at our house, I overheard her saying it to her two girls before bed. It brought me to tears.

I can't explain it. The phrase clicked with me.

It feels different than saying, "I love you."

• Unique value: "You're very special to me" lets my kids know they bring unique value into my life. They are meaningful. It goes beyond a general expression of love.
• Specificity: By saying "special," my kids can appreciate who they are as individuals. Being loved is one thing, but feeling valued for their unique attributes is another.
• Appreciation: 'Special' conveys an aspect of admiration and respect. Feeling treasured is the goal.

Parental love and appreciation nurture children's self-esteem and development.

This should surprise no one, but it was fun to dig into the research.

I learned three things:

1: Parental warmth drives self-esteem and psychological well-being.

In 2012, the Journal of Child and Family Studies published a study. The study focused on children's perceptions. It examined how they perceive parental warmth. This warmth includes verbal affirmations of love and value.

The study revealed significant findings. Children perceiving higher warmth have better self-esteem. They also enjoy better psychological well-being. Parental warmth plays a crucial role in their mental health.

2: Positive communication influences social and emotional development.

Research exists on children's social and emotional development. It highlights the importance of positive communication. This communication involves expressions of love and validation. It plays a crucial role in children's development.

3: Positive parental affirmations may influence academic performance.

Evidence exists about children's academic performance too. It points to the help of positive parental affirmations. Children receiving these affirmations perform better. The Journal of Educational Psychology published a study in 2012. The study discovered a link. Warmth and affection from parents lead to positive academic attitudes. They also improve academic strategies in children.

But why does warmth shape thriving children?

Belonging builds self-esteem.

Parents' regular expressions of love and warmth make children secure. They make them feel loved and accepted. This creates a sense of belonging. It is essential for healthy self-esteem.

Support fosters confidence.

Parental warmth offers emotional support. It makes children feel understood. It makes them feel valued. These feelings help develop confidence. Confidence helps face challenges. It boosts self-esteem.

Self-love teaches kindness and respect.

A parent who shows love and warmth models self-respect. They teach children kindness to themselves. Children learn from this. They learn self-kindness and respect. It fosters healthy self-esteem.

Social skills increase self-worth.

Parental warmth and love enhance social skills. They improve relationships. These improvements increase a child's self-worth. Increased self-worth boosts self-esteem.

Warmth shapes thriving children.

Parental warmth plays a crucial role. It fosters belonging, offers support, teaches self-love, and enhances social skills. These factors contribute to children's self-esteem and self-worth. This is why it matters. So keep sharing warmth and love. Let's help our children thrive.

Frances interview

I asked Frances, my six-year-old, about the phrase:

Cameron: "Okay, so I'm writing an article about a thing that I say to you every night and when you go to school. Do you know what that thing might be?"

Frances: "I love you?"

Cameron: "I love you, yeah. It is, but I say you're very special to me. Right? Do you know that I say that to you?"

Frances: "Yeah."

Cameron: "So I have three questions about that. So when I say you're very special to me, what does that make you think about yourself?"

Frances: "Good."

Cameron: "Anything else you want to say about that?"

Frances: "I don't know."

Cameron: "Can you remember a time when I told you you're very special to me?"

Frances: "When I was going to bed."

Cameron: "When you were going to bed. And how did you feel at that moment?"

Frances: "Good."

Cameron: "Okay. Anything else you want to say?"

Frances: "No."

Cameron: "My last question is does hearing 'you're very special to me' help you when you're trying to learn something new or do well at school?"

Frances: "I don't know."

Cameron: "Think really hard. Can you think about a time when it might have? Might have what? Might have helped you at school."

Frances: "I don't know."

Cameron: "Okay. That's all the questions I have. Is there anything you want to say?"

Frances: "No."

So there you have it.

Daily affirmations of love nurture our children's self-esteem and emotional well-being.

Uttering phrases like "You're very special to me" can profoundly impact our children, especially when told daily. These words have the power to enhance their self-esteem, and they play a crucial role in improving their emotional well-being.

Additionally, these simple expressions contribute to their development.

As parents or caregivers, we should continue to express our love to our children. We should take every opportunity to reassure them of their importance in our lives. After all, reminding them how special they are to us is one of the most meaningful gifts we can provide.